When Evanescence was my Favourite Christian Band

It was 2003. I was fresh out of High School and at the height of my 'Nu Metal' phase (which hasn't entirely ended). Oh, and my mother was threatening to kick me out if I didn't get a job.

They had just started playing a song on the radio called Bring Me to Life, by some band called Evanescence, who sounded like Linkin Park with a lead female vocalist. The song also featured some rapper in the chorus and bridge that I thought was the dude from P.O.D., but turned out to be from some other band I'd never heard of called 12 Stones.

Perhaps it was because I associated them (wrongly) with P.O.D., but for some reason I got in my head that this Evanescence was a Christian band. What with the haunting intro line of,

How can you see into my eyes like open doors...? My spirit's sleeping somewhere cold, until you find it there and lead it back home...

to the screaming chorus,

Wake me up inside... I can't wake up... Save me from the nothing I've become, Bring me to life...

Evanescence's follow-up single was the beautiful piano piece, My Immortal. The lyrics were considerably less overtly Christian, but it was enough to convince me I liked this band and to go out and by their album, Fallen.

Fallen is, without a doubt, my favourite album of all time, and I have purchased it no less than six times. At this point I became convinced that Evanescence was a Christian band, with songs such as Everybody's Fool appearing to be about putting off Idolatry, Whisper, which is about not giving into doubts, and Tourniquet (which I discovered is a cover of a song by Christian death metal—an oxymoron, I know. I prefer to fondly call it 'Life after Death metal'—band, Soul Embraced), with lyrics like,

I'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming. Am I too lost to be saved...? My God, my Tourniquet, return to me salvation... Will I be denied Christ...?

And apparently I wasn't the only one who associated the band with Christianity. Initially Fallen was available in Christian music stores and given air-time on Christian radio stations, until the band—and/or their management—requested that their albums and songs be pulled from the Christian market, insisting that they were a secular band.

So it would seem Evanescence wasn't the Christian band that so many like myself needed them to be. And, I mean, it was a very confusing time: Switchfoot had released Meant to Live on commercial radio around the same time, P.O.D. had released Youth of the Nation, Alive and Boom two years earlier, and Lifehouse's Hanging by a Moment had led the way the year before that. All of these songs had great success in Christian and secular circles, and led to strange ideas that other bands which were clearly not Christian—such as Nickelback—must be Christian too. But the difference was, Switchfoot, P.O.D., Lifehouse... they were happy to take the moniker 'Christian band', even if they weren't singing straight-out Praise and Worship songs (Though P.O.D., as well as Jon Foreman of Switchfoot have certainly had very religious songs).

Then perhaps Evanescence belonged in that baffling category of "We are Christians, but we are not a Christian band"? Bands like Breaking Benjamin. After all, Evanescence's two main members, singer Amy Lee and guitarist Ben Moody met at a Christian Youth Camp, so that meant they had to be Christian, right?

A look at the band's earlier demos and recordings further confuses the discussion. Take for example the song Away from Me from their Origin album.

Crawling through this world as disease flows through my veins, I look into myself but my own heart has been changed... Lost in a dying world I reach for something more... I've woken now, to find myself in the shadows of all I have created. I'm longing to be lost in you... Won't you take me away from me?

Okay, so I can see how that could be taken as someone who realises that the world isn't all it's cracked up to be. It doesn't explicitly say anything about God or Christ, so it isn't really an indication of any religious affiliation. Correct?

Well, what about the song Lies? It's also from the album Origin.

But through my tears breaks a blinding light, Birthing a dawn to this endless night. Arms outstretched awaiting me, an open embrace on a bleeding tree...

Again, it doesn't specifically mention God or Christianity, but the symbolism of the Cross is obvious. And if you still need convincing, take a look at the very next line.

Rest in me and I'll comfort you, I have lived and I died for you. Abide in me and I vow to you, I will never forsake you.

That is the very essence of Christianity!

So then, what happened? Are Evanescence a Christian band or not? Were the members ever Christian? Well, as my wife would say, "that's between them and their g/God".

According to Amy Lee, they never were a Christian band, and as far as being marketed as one, "it was a Ben thing", referencing guitarist Moody. Ben left the band less than a year after Fallen debuted, and personally I feel as if they suffered musically as a result. While I still purchased their next few CD's, I don't think I ever truly liked another one of their albums until this year's The Bitter Truth. At least not in the same way as Fallen or their earlier stuff.

I have heard from many Christian writers who feel drawn to publish in the general (secular) market, and thus not limiting the reach or impact of their Mission, and I see merit in that. As long as they don't try to argue the idea of whether they are Christian or not. So do I believe that was the case with Evanescence?

Sadly, no. I do not believe they were ever a Christian band, and would not be surprised to ever hear either Amy or Ben openly renounce Christ. So then what of their lyrics? Are they still Christian? Should I feel free to belt out songs that I believe were legitimately written as Christian songs, by people who no longer believe the words they wrote?

Well that's a very real struggle I have with many Christian bands. In 2020, Hawk Nelson frontman Jonathan Steingard announced via social media that he no longer believed in God, while in 2021 Kevin Max of DC Talk fame identified as an 'exvangelical'. And I'll be honest, I feel kinda weird listening to Jesus Freak now. I feel like I've been lied to all this time. That songs that held so much meaning at the time were just empty words.

On the other hand, I am listening to early Evanescence demos as I write, and in fact that is what inspired me to write this post in the first place. Does that make me a hypocrite? Probably.

At the end of the day, I am reminded that these artists are just people, and are not to be idolised. They set us up for disappointment, and then we wonder how they could have done this to us, when really, we only have ourselves to blame.

In the meantime, I have the band Red, who first struck me in 2006—with the release of their debut album End of Silence—as a cross between (old) Evanescence and Linkin Park-with-Hope. They are easily my favourite ever band.

Or I have Skillet, who are perhaps the most outspoken Christian band I have ever known. Will frontman John Cooper disappoint me one day? Quite possibly, and I'm sure that if I ever spoke to him he would be the first to agree with me on that.

Likewise, I hope no one is ever to idolise me that way. Sure, I would love to see people buy my books. Even better, I would love to know they enjoyed reading them. But I have heard too many stories of people meeting their heroes and being sorely disappointed. And it seems the more famous they are, the more disappointing the experience. I would never want that. I am just a sinful human, the same as anyone. My dark thoughts and deeds are mine to own, but trust me—they are there.

That is why I hope and pray that my writing will only ever point you towards the One who is worthy of all praise. He is unchanging, and will never disappoint you.

Regardless of what Evanescence feels about that song now, I very much believe that Jesus still speaks through those lyrics: "Abide in me and I vow to you, I will never forsake you."

What are your thoughts? Do you think it's wrong to sing along to a song written by an artist who has since renounced Christ? Does it mean the song was never Christian to begin with? Or are we able to still claim the song as ours, and just lament that the artist has fallen away?